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This Winter has been particularly hard.  Having a husband who manages snow removal made me very much aware that for two months straight, we had heavy snows every single weekend. Couple that with a few weeks of below freezing temperatures and you start to wonder if you will ever feel warm again!

It’s about this time of year where I start to get antsy for the sun which is what drove my husband and I to take a quick trip to Florida.  We boarded a 6am flight in Chicago where mild flurries and a cloudy day greeted us on the runway.  Dreaming of the warmth I would soon experience in Florida, I stared out the window during takeoff.

All of a sudden, the plane burst through the layer of clouds and the warmth of the rising sun met my face.  I’ve flown plenty of times, but never experienced the plane piercing through dark clouds to reveal intense light. It was such a huge contrast!  I was so taken back that my husband had to elbow me to shut the window a bit because the guy across the aisle was being blinded by the rays.

I laid my head on the window and let the warmth cover my face for the entire ascent.

“I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.” -John 8:12

The sun is always there, we know this…but sometimes, for even long seasons, it’s covered by clouds so we don’t feel it.

The Son is always there, we know this…but sometimes, for even long seasons, circumstances cloud our view so we don’t feel Him.

BUT….oh the BUT…the moment those clouds break and we feel the warmth of His presence and see the blinding light of His goodness, and it reminds us He is all we need.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” -John 1:5

If you are experiencing a long season of darkness, remember you are triumphant in Jesus because no darkness can overcome Him in you.  You will feel joy again, you will feel hope again, you will feel light again.

I think that’s one of the reasons I love the book of Isaiah so much: it’s filled with God’s people turning away from God and God’s wrath on them as a result.  BUT…oh the BUT… moments of light shine through verses and chapters pointing towards Jesus and redemption.  It makes all the dark times shrink away as the light overtakes them.

“No longer will you have the sun for light by day, Nor for brightness will the moon give you light; BUT (emphasis mine) you will have the Lord for an everlasting light…And the days of your mourning will be over.” -Isaiah 60:19-20

He is our prize, He is our light and our warmth, and no darkness will ever overtake Him.  May you feel the warmth of His love today and know that there will come a day where all darkness will be consumed forevermore.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)

I always believed my God was the Ephesians 3:20 God, but to experience it as I have the past few months has made all my previous struggles and “wilderness” trials so worth it.

Here’s some examples…..

I mean, I already baked Christmas cookies, you guys….twice!!!  That would never of happened if I was still at my old job. I never had the time or energy.

I won the Erwin Small First Decade award which is given to one veterinarian in the State who has been involved in supporting other veterinarians.  Tell me how I won this….I have no idea…someone somewhere nominated me and I won!

I got to speak at the University of Illinois Fall Conference by no work of my own other than just showing up to another speaking engagement in which the professor really liked my talk and offered me a spot at the conference!

I got to speak to the Illinois State Veterinary Medical Association Power of 10 class as a mentor.

I’ve had the pure honor of meeting so many amazing veterinarians across the state through the Illinois State Veterinary Medical Association, and have loved every single new friendship.

And my most treasured accomplishment, being able to help more families say goodbye to their beloved pets in the most peaceful and dignified way in the comfort of their own homes through my new business.

The thing that BLOWS MY MIND….is that I never originally set out to do any of these things….well, except for the cookies.  BUT I kept listening to that still small voice telling me to take the next step, the next step, and the next step.  And I loved the people along the way, built relationships that continue to support me in all avenues of vet med. And GOD ran with it.  I say this not to boast of anything I did….cause all I did was prepare, learn and show up….but that God’s power created opportunities, avenues and a business that went above and beyond what I ever could have thought up on my own.

Be faithful to Him in your wilderness seasons…..He will teach you things you will need in the promised land…especially wisdom that down the road you can share to help others.

Our God is FAITHFUL, always GOOD, and oh so kind with His mercy.  Praise be to our God of Ephesians 3:20!

I’m unemployed….as of today…

The past 4 weeks have been a blur

I did this:

and spoke at this…..

 

and formed this….

 

You see….I became a general practice veterinarian because I thought it was my passion.  Then as that veterinarian, I realized it was not.  I spent the past 8 years trying to discover what I was passionate about and what I was most gifted in.  Never in a million years would I have dreamed that animal end of life care and home euthanasia was my own personal calling.  But God knew…and slowly He revealed it to me…

bit by bit…

piece by piece…

little by little…..

with every technically challenging vein that I hit with ease….

with every prayer I prayed with clients during a euthanasia….

with every thank you card that stated “you have a gift in helping others say goodbye”…..

with every beat of my heart that stirred when I was able to help a beloved pet pass in the most peaceful and dignified way and help their families say goodbye in the most reverent way….

I slowly knew….this is it.

And I’m excited to introduce you to my new calling opening November 7 of THIS YEAR!  Please check out:

www.unleashedwithgrace.com

and like us on Facebook to stay up to date on all that is to come!

https://www.facebook.com/UnleashedWithGrace

 

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Romans 7:15

The struggle is real, Paul….I hear ya.  One of the biggest strivings of every Christian is to know Jesus and to be more like Him.  So why is it so darn hard to change our mindsets on things and to act or speak differently?…

To do that which you know you want to do instead of doing that which you hate?

I came across a verse in Isaiah that I’d never noticed before:

“he who turns aside from evil makes himself a prey.” Isaiah 59:15

I have never seen this concept spelled out quite as blatant.  It is smack dab in the middle of a chapter where Isaiah is describing the current times of the people: they are liars, murders, idol worshipers, scheming against one another, running to evil and causing all sorts of destruction.  Then this statement…… “he who turns aside from evil makes himself a prey.”

Isaiah is saying to them and to us: don’t be like these people, turn from your transgressions….BUT….you will become prey…

At some point in our lives we have to decide if Jesus is truly worth it.  Because if you make a decision to change something in your life to align with scripture, an attitude, a habit, a sin, a lifestyle….you will become prey.

Is He…..worth IT?

Isaiah goes on to explain how when God saw that there was no righteousness or justice He brought about salvation by His own arm to Him, speaking of Jesus.

“He put on righteousness like a breastplate, and a helmet of salvation on His head; and He put on garments of vengeance for clothing and wrapped Himself with zeal as a mantle.”

Is He ….worth IT?

Because Jesus died for us…His same armor given to Him by His Father, is now offered to us:

Paul tells us to “put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground” Ephesians 6:13

What is the armor?

The belt of truth

The breastplate of righteousness

The shoes of the gospel of peace

The Shield of Faith

The Helmet of Salvation

The sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God

Is Jesus worth it?

YES! He IS worth becoming prey for because He has won for us the armor that allows us to withstand the predator.  We don’t bow down to evil….we step out of it.  We make ourselves known as followers of truth and righteousness and we ready ourselves with the incorruptible armor won for us by our Almighty Jesus.

You cannot change or fight on your own…..it truly does start on your knees and in the Word.  I am convinced that battles are won on our knees before they even begin.

Jesus, let me….let us be a people who turn from evil knowing there may be some fear and there may be some trembling…but you have clothed us in your armor to withstand every scheme of the devil.  YOU are so worth it all, Jesus. Amen!

I’m in love with Jesus.  I sin….I fall short….I get frustrated….and I hurt people….and I am reminded of all my faults when God uses Scripture to teach me.  And as a result, even more, I am reminded that in spite of all my shortcomings…. Jesus died for me…. rose for me…. and chooses to speak to me still.

Maybe you had heard of a lady named Joy from the television talk show, “The View”, criticizing Mike Pence for saying that Jesus talks to him.  She said that she understands if the Vice President were to talk to Jesus, but saying that Jesus talks to him is like a mental illness.  I found it so bizarre that someone would find it insane that God would speak to His creation since I have been exposed to Jesus basically my whole life, and if I just open up the bible, Jesus speaks.  But Tony reminded me to see it from the eyes of an unbeliever who has never experienced a relationship with Jesus before and the power of His Word.  Of course that would be weird to them.

I do find her words harsh, but God told us people would act and speak like this.  I was reminded today of 2^nd Timothy Chapter 3 where Paul is talking about the “last days” (the days towards the end where Jesus will return, the days we currently find ourselves).  He describes the people:

“For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.” (2^nd Timothy 3:2-5)

 

“although they have denied its power”….

By the grace and mercy of God, I have been given a great love for His Word and its power right now more than ever before.  I wanna know it, study it, memorize it, and use it.  I have seen and felt the healing, beautiful, calming power of His Word.  There is absolutely nothing….NOTHING….that brings me more joy, excitement, exhilaration than when scripture jumps off the page and into my life….just like that verse was meant for me at the exact perfect time (because it was!).  How GREAT is our God!

“although they have denied its power”….

That verse….keeps ringing over and over in my head.  I want to scream “People! You have no idea what you are missing…confess your sins, believe in Jesus and live for Him….You will experience true love, faith, and power like never before.”  If you have never experienced God speaking, I wish we were across the table sipping on some coffee right now.  Let me tell you the times his Word has been like salve for my wounds, water for my dry thirst, and medicine for all my aches and pains.  Let’s chat about the times it has been a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path (Psalm 119:105).  And let me tell you about the power, pure power, of reciting it in the face of darkness which flees at the sound of it.

 

Don’t be like Joy from “The View” and call us Christians crazy for hearing Jesus speak.  Instead, investigate.  Ask God to speak to you and open up a Bible.  I beg of you not to deny its power and if you don’t, I know your life will be transformed.  Life is too short, and the time for Jesus coming back is drawing near…. so don’t wait!

“ And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost….He who testifies to these things says, ‘Yes, I am coming quickly’. Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.”

Revelation 22:17 &20

 

I once had a coworker ask the question about whether or not Jesus has a sense of humor.  Busy extracting a tooth at the time, I didn’t think too much about it but answered that I couldn’t wait to meet Him in Heaven and find out.

Later, I got to thinking, “Heidi, you know that God has a sense of humor!”  And that’s so true. I think one of the coolest things about having a relationship with Jesus is that the more I study the Bible and the more time I spend with Him, the more I get to know the different amazing dimensions that make Jesus who He is.

If you just look at some common stories in the bible you can see traces of His humor.  He chose a man with a speech impediment to speak on His behalf before Pharaoh and set the Israelites free.  He chose the smallest, youngest, and the one regarded as the least of all Jesse’s sons to be the greatest King that ever ruled over Israel.  Also, think about Samson and how he used the jawbone of a donkey to strike down a thousand men!  The jawbone of a donkey…now that’s creative!  Our God DOES have a sense of humor, but as if the various Bible stories aren’t enough to convince you, then maybe ask Him to show you this side of Him.

I’m not belittling the awesomeness and the almightiness of our God by talking about humor…because He is all-powerful and a God who is to be highly revered.  However, I do know that God uses humor to help us, heal us, bring joy to us, and create friendships.  He cares about laughter!  Proverbs 31:25 talks about the honorable wife and how “she is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”  This laughter is considered a strength, how cool is that!

Today, God made me laugh.  I had asked Him to help me be more observant because quite frankly, I’m not.  After twenty-five years of schooling (which is 78% of my life BTW), my brain is trained to focus.  As a result, I am extremely good at staying on task and staying on point so much so that it has become a fault.  So I asked God to help me keep my eyes more open on a broader scope.  I was standing at the gas pump and thinking of this and no sooner had I asked to be more observant, then he said, “well, it all starts with just noticing the small things…what’s the brand of that fire extinguisher, what’s the name on the side of that passing truck, who is in your surroundings?”  Then I saw a lone gas cap on top of the pump.  I never would have seen that in a million years before.  I would have focused, pumped my gas, and got out of there.  So then after pondering what to do with it while the tank filled up, I decided to bring it inside to the attendant so she could keep it in the lost and found.   Awesome, good start to observation greatness!

Then leaving Walmart, I placed all my groceries in the trunk, returned the cart, and went to get into my car and saw a winter hat on the ground to my left.  I laughed out loud because here’s the thing….when thinking about learning to be more observant, I was thinking maybe God would teach me by more exiting methods like getting to avoid slipping on a patch of ice, or helping someone out, or stopping some major disaster…maybe I got carried away on that one.  But sometimes, it’s the simplest things that become the best trainers.  And many times,  I can’t help but laugh at myself in comparison to the wisdom of God.  In those moments, I truly believe He laughs with me.  Not at me, but He laughs along side His creation…me….doing my best to try and grow and figure out life on earth by letting the simplest things teach me.  He laughs because He created laughter and it is GOOD!  Beth Moore once said that she hopes when she gets the heaven that God thinks she’s funny and that he says to her, “Man, I really got a kick out of you!”.   I hope so too because sometimes, I get a kick out of Him!

the vet life Click Here!

Last night I received a text from my friend Kiki saying that my book was on Dr. Blu’s desk…at first I was kinda confused then I looked at the snapshot she sent me….it was my book on the Animal Planet show called “The Vet Life” and I couldn’t help but get a little giddy.

“The Vet Life” is a really neat show I started watching last summer when it first came out.  It follows three veterinarians who went to vet school together and moved to Texas to start their own clinic.  The are like brothers and my favorite part about the show is how they support, encourage, laugh, and joke around with one another.  I stopped watching “vet shows” because a lot of times they just stressed me out or I felt like I was back at work.  But this one is different, they share their lives, even the tough cases, and share their faith which takes boldness to do that on camera.

Because their show really lifts my spirits and I believe really supports the veterinary profession by displaying it in such a real and positive light, I really wanted these doctors to have a copy of my book.  So I packed up three of them and sent them to Texas, not really sure if they would make it to them.

But it did!  And last night was really cool to see my cover on tv…even if it was only for a brief moment, it ensured me that they got my book and I really hope they enjoyed it!

So if you have never heard of the show, check it out!

https://www.animalplanet.com/tv-shows/the-vet-life/

I gently place my stethoscope just behind the elbow on the side of the chest, hearing the familiar slowing of the heart until it gracefully fades away turning into a peace filled silence.  It is the same melody I have heard over hundreds of times as a veterinarian having helped many pets pass from this world to the next when it was most needed.

It’s a song that never grows old, never taken lightly, and truly respected as the pet is allowed to pass with dignity and peace.  It is during this time that I find myself kneeling in the chasm between life and death.   I feel the weight of the sorrow in the room as the family’s tears and sniffles tell the story of the great love they have for their pet.   Each tear representing a special memory, favorite pastime, or special grin that the person shared with their furry friend that will always be cherished but now will be no more in this lifetime.  I also feel relief for the animal, knowing that their discomfort will be no more or go any further because their family made the tough yet compassionate decision to let them go.

It is during these moments that I often hear, “This must be the hardest part of your job.”  I am always amazed and humbled that in their moment of suffering that families have the compassion to think of me and how I must feel about this moment.  I used to just mumble something like, “Yes, it’s hard because these animals are just so wonderful…”  But the more years I’ve been in this profession, and the more experiences I’ve gained around saving a life and ushering one into peace, the more I’ve begun to really ponder how I feel about this particular aspect of my job.

I’ve seen pets who have suffered with owners suffering alongside them, and witnessing that truly is the hardest part of my job.  I got into this job to be a healer, a fixer, to save the lives of so many.  The reality is though; that I take so many more lives than  I am able to heroically save.  It’s just the nature of the job and with such a short life span for these animals; it is simply just the way it is.   Once I came to accept that reality and stopped seeing euthanasias as a burden or failure, I was able to see them as what they truly are: a final gift to a beloved pet who deserves a peaceful end.  They no longer bogged me down or threw me into a spiral of “compassion fatigue”, instead they gave me purpose.

It’s a time where the family, if they wish to be present, gets to spend their final moments with their pet in perfect peace.  Where they get to say their final goodbyes and where I have the great responsibility of making sure that their pet passes in the most comfortable way possible.  It is also where I am allowed into the families’ most vulnerable spot: their suffering.  It is a privilege and an honor to suffer with others: to kneel with them before their pet and get a lump in my throat as their eyes start to glisten.  It is a great privilege to accompany them in this final leg of their journey with their pet.  I don’t take this lightly, I never get used to it, but I do deeply respect this precious time.

This special time usually ends in a familiar beautiful tune.  It’s a mixture of what I’d expect to be the pleasant sounds of a “major” melody as families laugh about some of the memories and troubles their pet gave them, then gently switch over to the “minor” keys of more serious interludes of grief stricken loss.  Then there’s the undertone: usually a steady beat of relief.  No more fearing for the worst or worrying that their pet may be suffering.  The end was peaceful and now the families can breathe slightly easier while they grieve together.   All of this honors their beloved pet to the fullest and I truly feel blessed to get to witness this precious moment.  The song playing between life and death is one filled with deep respect, sorrow, and a whole lot of love and I am blessed to sit and listen to a tune such as that.

 

 

 

 

“Behold then the kindness and severity of God; to those who fell, severity, but to you, God’s kindness, if you continue in His kindness; otherwise you also will be cut off.” Romans 11:22

 

I grew up with a very loving view of God which is a great thing.  But I never really came to understand the fear of God until I was a little older.  Over and over in the bible the fear of the Lord is considered “the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 9:10) and is viewed as a holy reverence for God.   Our God is love (1 John 4:8), but our God is mighty, holy, and just in His judgments.

I’ve never been reminded of this more than by my past few months of studying the first half of the book of Isaiah.  It’s been a reminder of the coming judgment for people who do not accept Jesus and how temporary this life really is.

I get so caught up in the temporary present life and sometimes forget that eternity is eternity.  Eternity is a whole lot longer than what…85 years on this earth for the average human lifespan?  For those who accept Jesus, we can enjoy peace, love, joy, and most importantly Jesus for all eternity.  For those who don’t, just pulling from what I’ve read in Isaiah: here is what they can expect:

• “transgressors and sinners will be crushed together…thus they shall both burn together and there will be none to quench them.” Isaiah 1:28 & 31
• “men will go into caves of the rocks and into holes of the ground before the terror of the Lord” Isaiah 2:19
• “He has utterly destroyed them, He has given them over to slaughter. So their slain will be thrown out, and their corpses will give off their stench, and the mountains will be drenched with their blood.” Isaiah 34:2-3

And what about this earth that we so cling to, what happens at the end to it?

•  It will be broken, split through, shaken violently, reeling to and fro, and it will fall, never to rise again. (Isaiah 24:19-20)

But for those who accept Jesus…what awaits us?

• “The Lord of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples on this mountain….He will swallow up death for all time, and the Lord God will wipe tears away from all faces, And He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth.” Isaiah 25:6-8

What a relief we have in Salvation…to be spared from destruction and the burning sting of God’s judgment that would leave us eternally separated from Him.

If you don’t know Jesus, or have been too busy to investigate who He really is….NOW is the time.  Do not wait, because the “severity” of God is real for all who deny His name.

BUT, His “kindness”…oh His kindness for the likes of you and me who call on His name…  The forgiveness and love and wonder at the power of His word and Spirit that starts right when you believe in Jesus…it’s absolutely incredible and not only life saving, but eternity saving!  Sometimes we do need to remember the “fire and brimstone” in order to truly appreciate God’s love for us… Oh the kindness and severity of our God!

I have had the most wonderful privilege over the past few weeks to display my book at two separate conferences: 1. The International Association of Animal Hospice and Palliative Care conference in Seattle 2. The Illinois State Veterinary Medical Association conference in Lombard.

It has been AMAZING!  I have gotten to meet so many great veterinarians and one part of my display asked them to finish the following sentence: “My Most Joyful Moment in Vet Med Was When…”  They could then enter to win a gift card.   Because I feel like we are constantly hearing or being warned about the negatives of our profession,  I wanted them to pull out something positive that they enjoyed about vet med and figured it was time to celebrate the joys!  So come along and celebrate with me! I will post a few a week on this blog for us to smile with, laugh with, and applaud with them.

Enjoy!!!

“When doing physical therapy on a dog… and watching the owner’s eyes light up.  We have been good friends ever since I helped her dog get better!”

“When I started working with monkeys and delivered my first baby monkey by C-section :)”

“During my first year of vet school I learned that veterinary medicine is only part of my calling.  My true calling is to people, families, and especially to God, My Father.”

“When I sought out a supportive progressive practice and found support in the FB group ‘Moms with a DVM-Life in the Trenches'”